“Oh, really? You feel alive again because you’re starting a new business? So, that means you’re going to work 100 weeks again and I’m on my own? Fine. I did it once, I guess I can do it again.”
I have heard stories like this. In my work with individuals, it is not uncommon for people to feel stuck or lost about what their next chapter in life may look like.This chapter could be about creating a new business, changing careers, writing a book, traveling the world, or anything else you can imagine. Their excitement builds, yet when they present this newfound dream to their partner, they may run into a brick wall. As a result, when sharing this scary, big, new dream with others, it could get shut down pretty fast.
You need to keep in mind that people move at different speeds; each individual’s chapters may have varying segments within them. It is normal for each partner to have their own dream or goal – what matters most is how this dream or goal is shared. It is necessary for the presenter to clearly communicate why they have that dream and how they believe this goal may impact their partner. They also must be open to listening and understanding their partner’s thoughts and feelings about this new dream. Provided the partner is genuinely curious and working towards understanding the presenter’s motivation, this is a major step in creating support to help achieve this dream.
In our Life On Your Terms workshops, Reka and I discuss the importance of partner alignment. These same techniques are applicable to healthy leadership teams and organizations. We work through exercises to help ensure that partners share a vision related to where they are going in life and what their next chapter may look like. Ideally, the couple finds common ground that aligns together, which will become a goal for the next chapter, with both parties understanding the other’s motivations, insecurities, and dreams. In the business world, I call this “One Team, One Goal, One Vision”.
We refer to this as creating champions, not saboteurs. This thinking applies to all forms of relationships, both in the workplace and our personal lives.
The idea of a champion is someone who clearly understands, supports, and empowers the success of a certain dream, goal, or objective. This person can become a great cheerleader, accountability partner, or sounding board, rather than an undermining detractor and saboteur.
To do this well, the person with the dream will need the champion to understand their motivations, their insecurities holding them back, and the desired impact of this dream.
When partners can share their vision and clearly understand their individual motivations and insecurities, it becomes much easier for them to support one another. With this clear understanding in place, making sacrifices to help the other achieve their dream also becomes easier.
There is a lot to unpack here, and this only scratches the surface…but if you can focus on clearly understanding your motivations and insecurities behind a dream, communicate these well, listen for feedback, adjust, and ask for help, you are well on your way to becoming a champion.
Through this lens, at home and in the workplace, are you more of a champion or a saboteur? I challenge you to take at least one small step every day towards becoming a champion.
If you would like to learn more about the Life On Your Terms programs, please reach out or visit our website.